Advocating for Yourself with Doctors

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Sometimes the changes you've made in your life are so subtle you don't exactly see them until something big happens.  I'm going to share with you something big.

Going to get anything medical done, the doctor for a checkup, getting the vaccine, having a procedure, etc can be very stressful and traumatizing for many people, especially if you've had any medical trauma in your life, surgeries, accidents, etc. AND especially now during the pandemic.  Typically a doctor’s appointment like that can put me in fight/freeze for days.

Last week, I had a breast biopsy and there was a lot of anticipation around it.  The anticipation and nervousness were there for the obvious reasons, like, I f-ing hope I don't have cancer, but also because of my intense history with doctors and procedures in the past.  I have had multiple surgeries that started when I was a little kid.  My first major illness and surgery began at age 10 and my last one was 7 years ago.  So, finding out that they needed to biopsy my breast brought a lot up for me.

When old past stress-energy (trauma) is stirred up from a present experience, it can feel like you're going crazy.  Anxiety and emotions can feel very intense and may even accelerate into overwhelm which can cause many dis-eases like migraines, chronic pain, and autoimmune problems consequently helping you NOT follow through with the scary appointment or feeling shut down when you're at the doctor's office,  limiting your ability to advocate for yourself.

This time I decided to do it differently.  I realized about a week ago that I could let the doctors know about my trauma history and ASK for what I needed to happen.  So, I did.  I told them about my history and asked for very specific things.  I know from the trauma work I've done for myself and clients, that the body needs to know when things are coming (which is different from trauma which is too much too fast).  Knowing that I want to create as much safety for my body as possible, I was able to ask that they tell me what they were going to do and wait for consent before they did it.  I also asked that everyone in the room know my history and my request. 

The technician must have told the radiologist and assistant because when they came in the room, they all said they would let me know what they were going to do before they did it.  The assistant came in to hold my hand (I know, I teared up too) and they were amazing narrating each action before they did it and waited for me to agree.

During the procedure, I held the technician’s hand and looked at a colorful poster of 3 hibiscus flowers.  I kept my nervous system present by narrating what I saw in each flower, orange, yellow, red.  I let my eyes eat the texture and depth that the colors created.  I also read the sign over and over again that said "Hibiscus".  The attentiveness, the hand holding and connection, and the anchors in the room all helped my body feel a bit more present with being poked and prodded.

Once the procedure was done, the technician who was holding my hand was now holding gauze on the incision to help it stop bleeding.  We were there for about 10 minutes.  During that time I was able to let any activation (ie stress-energy) move through my body.  My body took big heaving breaths, I felt hot, cold, my eyes teared up, my body shaking and trembling.  This reminded me of a video I have seen in the past of a polar bear recovering after being tagged.  (this whole video is great if you want to learn more about how trauma energy is stored and released. The polar bear part starts at 10:57 mins and is about 4 mins long https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmJDkzDMllc)  Animals in the world don't hold trauma even though they are in life/death situations every day.  What I'm describing is how they shake it off.

And then all of the sudden whoosh, all the energy moved through. I was relaxed and euphoric, the way you do after an orgasm. (no joke, my first thought as my body settled into the stillness was, "I need a joint).

I walked out of that experience with a ton of energy, clear-headed and grounded in my body in total awe.  In awe that I advocated for myself and what that could do.  In awe of the doctors and technicians that listened and provided a consentual safe space for me during AND after the procedure.

The biggest aha moment was in refection of the trauma work I've done.  Like I mentioned earlier, some of this work can feel very subtle a lot of the time, but this time, there was no denying, I am different, it's working and this work is nothing short of life-changing.

Are you ready to clear stuck stress energy in your body that's making you sick?
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