Tools for anxiety during the holidays

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Hello Friend~

Thanksgiving is next week.
Whether you are spending time with family or friends, the holidays can be a confusing and exhausting time physically and mentally.

If you are someone who is easily triggered by your family dynamics, you're not alone. Our nervous system patterning begins before conception and is developed throughout your childhood until you're 25. This means that we are typically most triggered or notice ourselves moving into old patterning when we're with our family.

A few examples of things that might show up for you around the holidays:

  • self-soothing by eating too much

  • feeling reactive

  • feeling irritable and angry

  • feeling anxious, rushed, or a sense of urgency

  • thoughts racing and feeling like you can't get everything done

  • your inner critic gets louder in your head

  • feeling stuck or like you're in a cage or trapped

  • chronic pain like headaches, stomachaches, and joint pain may get more intense or more frequent

  • feeling invisible in the family

  • feeling like you have to take care of everyone

  • neglecting your own self-care and caring for oneself in general

  • grief or a lot of sadness


One of the most important things to remember is all of these experiences are all coming from your amazing and brilliant nervous system which is doing its very best to keep you alive.

In fact, these experiences are self-protective responses that began when you were little to keep you alive. And the current experience of being with family is pulling these out of your implicit memory, the memory in your nervous system.

That's why when you're a grown-ass adult and you're with family, you can feel like you're a kid all over again.

So, what can you do to mitigate the intensity of the holidays?
I invite you to develop tools that you can use when I'm with people and when you're alone.

1. When you're by yourself:

Find a handful of tools that you know help you to regulate your nervous system and practice those when you're alone. When you're doing those activities that feel good, shift your attention from doing to the experience your body is having. What are the sensations, images, impulses, and emotions you feel when you're inside that enjoyable activity? (ie. tingling, openness, calmness in the mind, heaviness, etc) Practice these tools throughout the day looking for signs of regulation.

2. When you're with other people:

Have a handful of tools you can use when you're with your people. Some of your regulation tools from step 1 may work here. I think it's really important to have an exit plan for when you get overwhelmed so you don't feel trapped which will increase your activation. One of my favorites is to go to the bathroom and do something to move that energy so I can return to the group a little more present. (ie. shaking, shaking my head from side to side, putting my arms out in front of me in a STOP position, etc).

There is incredible empowerment when you can take care of yourself in stressful situations.

Want to develop your own toolbox and shift out of feeling anxious and overwhelmed?
Let's chat about somatic therapy.
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