Growing Your Capacity for Joy

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One really important part of the healing process that you don't typically hear about is having the capacity to feel good.  It can be really common to have a hard time hanging out in appreciation, joy, ease, calm, relaxation, etc.  It can almost feel unsafe or even threatening to the body. 

And that's so confusing.  You want to feel good but when you do, it's scary A.F.

It can feel like this.  Let's say you're having a nice quiet and connected moment with someone and then all of the sudden you feel like your heart is going to beat out of your chest, you start to sweat, and your belly cramps.  This is your nervous system going beyond its capacity to digest the good stuff. 

Or, you're relaxing on the couch and then all of the sudden you have urgent thoughts that you have to unload the dishwasher RIGHT NOW plus 10,000 things on your to-do list. (this happens a lot for people in meditation)

You want to feel good, but when you do, it doesn't feel safe in your body.

Friend, this makes so much sense. When your system relaxes a little bit, the stress-energy that's stuck inside now has room to come up. This is great because it means you can digest old stress energy that's making you anxious, depressed, or sick. The challenge is having enough regulation in your system to be able to digest the trauma in teeny tiny bits over time so that it doesn't re-traumatize your system. This is what I support clients in learning how to do.

The good news is you CAN build your capacity to feel good in your life.  I do this with a practice called Courting Joy

Here's one way to do it:
Notice something that your animal body enjoys in the moment

Look for:

  • colors

  • shapes

  • textures

  • sounds

  • smells

  • tastes

  • sensations on your body

  • something happening outside of you

  • something happenings between you and another person or animal (a moment of connection or fun)


Once you find the thing that's enjoyable to you, notice the sensations and experiences of enjoyment in your body.  They might be subtle (like I feel more grounded or awake) or more obvious like my arms are tingling or my heart feels warm. At first, you might not notice much. But the cool thing is the more you get curious about your inner experiences, the more they will arise for you.

Make this a daily practice and see what happens.

Is it time for you to grow your capacity for joy, ease, rest, and pleasure?

There are a few open spaces in my schedule for 1 on 1 work
Contact me to set up your 30 min consult to chat about Somatic Therapy