Why You Keep Getting Stuck and What To Do About It
/There are emotional and mental patterns of not moving forward towards your dreams and goals. And you know what they are. You could probably write a dissertation on all of your childhood issues, emotional challenges, generational inherited trauma, and patterns that keep you stuck.
I get it! I spent years working it out in my head too. Journaling, therapizing, studying scriptures from different traditions, doing ceremonies, etc. I could write a book on why I feel the way I feel. And after all that work, while it was a relief to UNDERSTAND why, it didn't actually help me feel different.
Can you relate to this?
There's something keeping you in an anxious or stuck place. And when you watch other people moving forward and going for their dreams, it can feel like you're alone on the sidelines watching them while you standstill. Inevitably, it's easy to believe that you don't have something these other people have. That you are somehow inherently flawed, don't deserve what you want and you should just settle for what you do have in your life.
It took a while for me to realize that thinking and talking myself through these limiting beliefs and issues is not changing how I feel and it's not helping me to move forward. The thing that helped me to feel in control and able to take steps towards the scary goals was reshaping my nervous system.
So, let's shift the focus, for a moment, to the lens of your nervous system. You have 3 nerves that work together in your Autonomic Nervous System that keep you safe from danger.
Ventral - The thoughts and beliefs are "I can"
Sympathetic - The thoughts and beliefs are "I must now"
Dorsal - The thoughts and belief are "I can't and I'm all alone"
If there's anything from the past that was unsafe and that resembles the new thing you're trying to do, your protective responses (Sympathetic and Dorsal) will kick in. Imagine a little kid who was attacked by a dog. That little kid’s nervous system is going to be scared to move towards dogs even if the attack happened 30 years ago.
Your protective responses affect what you think and what you feel. When you feel tight and scared to move forward with something you want, that is a protective response from your nervous system supporting you in not moving towards what feels scary. When you start to feel like you're faking it to make it and you don't deserve the success in your business, that’s your protective response keeping you safe from something scary. All of this is controlled by your nervous system.
So, if you've been feeling stuck trying to move towards what you want, your protective responses are in high gear. This is happening in your autonomic nervous system, your sensory system, not your cognitive brain. To tone those protective responses down so you CAN move forward, you have to show, not tell, your nervous system that it's safe to go there. Gently, slowly stretching your ability to feel safe taking steps towards your small and big desires in life.
If you're ready to feel different in your body and mind, reply to this email and schedule a 1 on 1 consult for private Somatic Experiencing sessions. Let's get you moving towards what you truly want in your life.
Rather come to a movement class?
We practice turning on the ventral nerve before during and after class.
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