A Surprising Practice for Easing Anxiety

Hello Friend~

My 2.5-year-old niece taught me a nervous system lesson the other day.

After swimming in the pool we grabbed a blow-up pool ball and started throwing it back and forth. She would throw it to me and I would either catch it and throw it back or bat it back. She’s just starting to get how to aim the ball at the person she’s throwing it to. So, each time she threw it and I caught it, she would squeal with delight. A few times the ball landed in the pool and we would talk about how the wind would need to blow it back to the side to grab it. She was laughing, I was giggling because her laugh is pure joy. After about 5 minutes of this game, the ball fell to the ground and as she was squatting down to pick it up she looked up and with a big smile on her face exclaimed, “This is so fun!” I looked right in her eyes and said, ‘This IS SO FUN!”

To the cognitive mind, these 5 minutes might mean nothing. A simple game of catch with a kid.

To the nervous system, this was a monumental moment. She FELT delighted and then expressed it to me. By doing that, we shared a moment of connection as we played and had fun.

And something happened for each of us at that moment. Our Ventral nerves turned on and toned by the enjoyment itself, the noticing of that enjoyment in our bodies and connecting with each other in that enjoyment. This is huge for her as a child because her ventral vagal nerve tone is still developing. AND, it’s huge for me as an adult with a trauma history, reshaping my nervous system.

Remember, the ventral vagal complex helps us to feel safe, awake, embodied and that we can do what we want to do. We are meant to live more in the state of ventral.

Turning on the ventral vagal nerve is step 1 in relieving anxiety and clearing stuck trauma.

I was so moved by my brilliant niece. She created a moment of connection when things feel fun is so rare. Play is a very important and healing experience of being a fully realized human and we are cultured out of it as we get older. We think of simple play or fun as childish or not important as other responsibilities become a priority. But adding moments of play or simple enjoyment into your life and feeling into what feels good in your body literally begins to reshape your nervous system. It tones the ventral vagal nerve, builds resilience, and will make space for stuck trauma to exit your body home.

How do you do you build ventral tone?

Here’s a place to start:
When something enjoyable is happening (could be something simple like you’re enjoying the colors of the leaves on a tree or the breeze feels nice on your skin) let your mind settle on what feels nice or enjoyable in your body at that moment. Let your body tell you and feel into it. As you do this you may have a memory or image come up in your mind. Let yourself see the image. Or, you may experience an emotion that’s associated with the sensation in your body. Let yourself feel that. Let your body have experiences and let yourself watch and feel them. As you experience this you may notice some signs that your body is regulating. It’s good to keep track of these signs so you know, “ok, my nervous system is moving more towards regulation.”

If this practice feels too activating for you, try noticing things that feel neutral in your body for a while, and then start noticing what you enjoy. Let your system work up to it.

Your nervous system learned patterns that have kept you alive. But those patterns aren’t working for you anymore and you’re ready for new ones. Let’s shift from feeling anxious into feeling easeful, grounded, and move more easily towards what you want.

It's time to reply to this email and schedule a 1 on 1 consult for private Somatic Experiencing sessions.  Let's get you moving towards how you truly want to feel in your life and moving towards your goals.

Rather join a Somatic Movement Class this week to add regulation tools and healthy movement to your life.

With LOVE, Courage, and Regulation

Dorie

P.S. Read last week’s blog post I was fine before the pandemic and now I’m anxious