Why Don't I Feel Super Excited About...

Dear friend~

I will preface this by saying that it’s never WRONG to feel what you feel. So, let’s get curious about what you actually feel rather than putting your experience in the good or bad category, shall we?

OK, now that’s out of the way, let’s unpack this idea together.

Excitement!
It may feel a bit weird if you’re not feeling super excited about something that’s coming up. Perhaps it’s a trip that you’re FINALLY going on, friends or family that you’re going to see for the first time in a few years. Or maybe it’s a change in your life, a new job, a new house, a first date, etc…

When you look at excitement through the lens of the nervous system it lands between the ventral and sympathetic states.

Remember our states: (there are also mixes of these states which we call blended states)

Ventral Vagal - relaxed and awake, present, embodied, fully here
Sympathetic - mobilized, annoyed, anxious, angry, rage-full
Dorsal - shutdown, dissociated

Excitement happens ideally when we’re present and here (ventral) with a little bit of sympathetic mixed in.

Excitement is a curious emotion because it can easily ramp us up into anxiety (high sympathetic charge) so there may be times where you feel excited and then all of the sudden you’re anxious and subsequently shut down or exhausted.

This can be very confusing because if you’re feeling excited about something positive in your life everything in your head is telling you to be excited. “This doesn’t make sense. I want to go on this trip. I haven’t been on a trip in 2 years. I need to get out of here and see new things, smell new smells, taste new tastes. Why do I feel anxious OR why do I feel nothing?”

First, this makes so much sense. Excitement is a big energy, so is going on a trip or doing something new. So, your nervous system (who’s job is to keep you alive and assess danger or safety) knows “hey, this big thing is something we haven’t done in a while.” So, it’s going to check in with your somatic memories and see if there’s anything that happened in the past that was new or exciting and see if that FELT safe or not for your nervous system in the past. If it felt safe, you may feel a little excitement now that’s anchored in the here and now. If the somatic memory is NOT SAFE, it will superimpose that experience onto the present one. It’s likely that you’re system will either rev up the excited/sympathetic charge (I feel anxious) and/or there may be a shut down (I feel nothing, I feel disconnected, or what’s the point of doing this thing).

Your nervous system is so freaking smart!

So, let’s take a moment to acknowledge the A+ job it’s doing on your behalf to keep you alive.

And understanding what’s happening in your nervous system and how to help it to feel safe is so important because it will help you stay on the road you want to be on (ie going on your trip) rather than feeling anxious, shutting you down, or freezing you in your tracks.

Your nervous system state affects your actions, your emotions, your beliefs, and your story.

You may want to re-read the above line…

So, if you’re feeling like your nervous system is controlling you rather than you being in control….its time for us to have a chat. Think about all that can change when you start to change your state daily.

Reply to this email and schedule a 1 on 1 consult for private Somatic Experiencing sessions.  Let's get you moving towards how you truly want to feel in your life and moving towards your goals.

Rather join a Somatic Movement Class this week to add regulation tools and healthy movement to your life.

With LOVE, Courage, and Regulation

Dorie

P.S. Read last week’s blog post A surprising practice for easing anxiety