Why Endings are so Hard

Dear Friend~

Today, I'm finishing off the Somatic Experiencing© training. 

Endings always bring about a mix of emotions for me.  My guess is that endings are not easy for you either.  In general, we are a culture that very much favors beginnings and creating something new.  Looking forward to big events, birthdays, weddings, celebrations, the start of school, planning for dates with friends, shows to go to, starting a new business or project. 

Endings are a bit harder as they bring on more painful or challenging emotions.  The end of a show series, the end of the day, the end of school, the end of a relationship, the death of a loved one. And we have lost so much over the last year with the pandemic as well as the anniversary of 9/11 and all of the unrest and injustices that are coming to the fore.

In my yoga philosophy studies, I learned that everything exists in cycles, there’s a beginning (creation), the event happening (maintenance) and then the ending (dissolution) which brings upon yet another beginning, and the cycle starts again.

And yet, even with this intellectual framework for endings, we tend to shy away from more challenging emotions because they are painful.  This happens on an unconscious and a nervous system level.  We will do other things to avoid feeling sadness, anger, rage, grief when they arise.  On top of that, feeling these emotions is very commonly tied to shame and guilt because of our perpetual pushing down and pushing away of them when they arise.

The problem is that these emotions, when unfelt, do lead to immense suffering.  I know this to be true not just from my training, but from my own life experience.  Depression and anxiety have been my primary emotional states for decades as well as chronic reproductive health issues.  Why?  Because I didn't have the support I needed to feel these emotions from other people AND I didn't have the capacity in my own nervous system to feel them.  Both are needed to move painful emotions to completion and come back to a state of regulation and wellbeing. 

Capacity and Support

And with capacity and support that feels safe, you can feel the full spectrum of emotion which will help you to feel fully alive, fully connected to others, and reclaim your life energy. And that, my friend, is your birthright.

If you are resonating with these words and know that sadness, pain from the past, and grief are holding you back, please reach out for support. Connect with me here to schdule a 1 on 1 complimentary consult.

Rather join a Somatic Movement Class this week to add regulation tools and healthy movement to your life.

With LOVE, Courage, and Regulation

Dorie

P.S. Read last week’s blog postIs it wrong that I don't feel super excited about...