Love and the Nervous System

On this valentine's day week, let’s talk about LOVE

In my experience, love is something that you feel when you create a space with yourself and another that allows for hearts to open. In my intro workshops and with clients we talk a lot about the qualities necessary to create that space. Some of the qualities that we brainstorm are

Trust

Play

Listening

Communication

Truth

Curiosity

Openness

etc…

I'm sure you could add some juicy words to this list as well.

Feeling love and connection with another doesn't always happen, even with those that you're "supposed to love" in your life. That can leave us feeling really lonely in the world. If you felt a lot of disconnection when you were younger in your family, schools or community, that can create dysregulation in the nervous system which we are seeing shows up as anxiety, depression, feeling stuck and a slew of health problems in adults. Or perhaps you're experiencing disconnection in your life as an adult and its got you stuck anxious, depressed or feeling stuck.

This week there is a lot of media and advertising bombarding us around LOVE and Relationship. It can feel a little disheartening and like you're on the outside if you're single or if you don't have a love interest right now, or are heartbroken or grieving. Perhaps, you're not being social for some health reason or don't have loved ones you can connect with. I want you to know that I feel and see you. While it feels safer in some ways to isolate, it can also feel very very sad.

I remember long stretches of time when I was so depressed that I just couldn't bring myself to be in the world. Or seasons of grieving after my mom died when Valentine's day felt so so lonely. (my mom used to send me 3-5 valentine's day cards in the mail when she was alive).

Whatever you're going through, my heart sends tenderness to yours.

And, please know that you can begin wherever you are to turn these qualities of love that we all yearn for inwards. Towards yourself.

Hold up...I'm not talking about getting a massage, going to the spa or buying yourself new clothes, or eating a box of your favorite cookies. All of those things are just fine, but their value to how you feel will be short-lived.

I'm talking about real, lasting change in how you feel.

And it starts with attending to your somatic BodyHome with curiosity, interest, and listening. Oh hey, there are those LOVE practices again.

One of the most important and foundational skills I work on with clients is practicing these qualities of love inside your own BodyHome. Learning how to listen and sense your own body's experiences with curiosity is fundamental in shifting from dysregulation to regulation. When we're regulated, we feel safe, embodied, and connected to the present moment. Your mind and heart are more open and there is a connection to what's true for you from moment to moment.

Here's one simple way you can start practicing love inside you by getting curious about how your body feels.

Begin noticing how it feels to be connected to the ground and what your body is doing when you're in a simple everyday task like washing the dishes or taking a walk. Notice what your feet feel like as they take steps, feel what your arms and hands are doing as you're washing and rinsing each dish. As you're doing this you're not trying to fix or judge anything. Rather, you're having an experience of your body doing what its doing.

Our bodies and our minds need attention, this is how our nervous systems develop as a human. When we're little we need that from our primary caregivers and since most of us didn't get everything we needed, now we need it from ourselves.

Try it and let me know how it goes

And if you want to go deeper in shifting anxiety and stuckness into feeling more at ease and present with Somatic Therapy, click here to set up a 30 min consultation

With Love and Regulation~

Happy Self-Love Week

Dorie