How to Digest Stuck Emotion - Lessons from the Elephant Ear Plant

Let me show you something that’s happening to my elephant ear plant.  Check out the dying leaves!!!

When I first saw the leaves getting brown and dying, I got really nervous.  I worried there was something wrong with the plant and she wouldn't make it.  I've had this elephant ear since last August and I’ve been amazed at how long it’s lasted after being outside all summer and then coming to live inside next to dry radiator heat all winter. 

Since receiving this plant, it has lost quite a few leaves.  Every single time a leaf  bends over gets brown and dies another leaf or baby is growing out of it.

What an amazing lesson!

In order to grow you have to let go of what’s not serving you.  What’s not serving you is gonna feel crappy it’s gonna feel like shit.  When you're releasing something not serving you, it feels like anger, frustration, sadness, old patterns may emerge, there might be weird random or chronic pain that comes back.  You may have strange dreams or images or memories or impulses.  It’s really really hard when those things come up not just because it feels bad.  But also because there’s another layer of judgment or shame about feeling bad. It may feel like you’re somehow moving backward.    It can feel like you're not on the path you thought you were on.  You may think, " I thought I was beyond this" and "who do I think I am" and "I've done so much work why is this still happening."  It's ingrained in us to judge and criticize what is hard and uncomfortable.  That’s how we learned to handle challenges. Our culture shows us that we should somehow always look good and feel good and be good and that’s just not real.  That’s not who we are as humans.  There is a shadow side, a dark side to all of us.  The more you can lean into the shadow when it’s happening and recognize that something is ending,  in a regulated and grounded way, it’s really amazing what happens.

When you don't lean into your shitty experiences what happens? 

They get stuck in your body home and can cause

1. Depression ( a literal pushing down of our anger and frustration)

2. Anxiety

3. High sensitivity

4. Migraines

5. Chronic Pain

6. Addictive behavior

7. Digestive Issues

8. Allergies

The next time you're feeling shitty, angry, annoyed, frustrated,  irritated, confused,  foggy, or whatever get curious about leaning into them and letting them have a moment to move through.  When you do that, you are digesting your emotions rather than letting them get stuck in your body at home and make you feel crazy.

Next time you’re feeling down and it feels like you’re moving backward, just remember there’s something growing underneath you might not see it you might not yet know it’s there.  Trust that growth is on the other side of it and lean into those challenges.

One very important caveat. If you have a lot of old stress-energy in your nervous system, leaning into the hard stuff may feel totally overwhelming especially if you’re working with grief or shame or old old emotions.  This is where we want to find more regulation and more of a sense of ease and comfort and build that into your system first with guidance and support.  This is what I do with clients one on one and in workshops.  If you need help with that definitely message me here.

The message for today is to lean into what’s happening even if it’s a little bit.

If you’re feeling resistance,  lean into the resistance

If you feel like you need a break, give yourself a little bit of a break

If you’re feeling irritated just let yourself be irritated and express it. 

Don’t try to change it or fix it so quickly by thinking about something positive or doing the opposite.

Explore what it would be like to lean in.

The Fix it Approach to Trauma and Chronic Stress

Have you ever felt pain, sadness, irritation, anger, (cue any yucky body feeling here), and all of the sudden all of your attention goes to fixing it?

Get it gone, out, good riddance.
How do you do that?

When I’m in fix-it mode, I try to fix my discomfort by overeating, reading a book about healing, calling a friend and complaining, thinking and ruminating about it until I am exhausted, making a game plan of how to fix it, exercising, going for body treatments, etc…

All of these strategies are helpful AND:

You find it gets more intense, maybe it sits idly in your body with constant annoying pain, irritation, or discomfort that you tolerate, maybe it hides under the darkness and one small thing can trigger an avalanche of emotion or pain.

And there you are, once again, doing more research to fix it.

This is the exact approach that’s been cultured into us. It is how we learned to handle sh*t. But it’s never handled, it just lingers there in your body home until it turns into migraines, autoimmune, chronic relationship problems, chronic pain, anxiety, depression, etc.

Until you actually digest and complete your stuck stress and trauma inside your physiology.

What completing stuck stress and trauma feels like:

• frees up your vital energy

• increases immunity

• increases energy

• decreases pain

• knows when you’re settling or being taken advantage of

• creates a sense of relaxation

• a feeling of being awake

• openness, confidence, creativity

• experience a wider range of subtle emotions

This all begins with getting very curious about what is actually happening in your physiology, not the story or the meaning you’re making of it, but what is actually happening. This requires trust and a felt sense of safety (regulation). When you can learn to work with your body’s experiences, it is truly magical what your body can free up for you.

How?

Let’s go deeper into it.

Here are some options:

~ Reply to this email for a private complimentary 1-on-1 consult. Want to read about a client’s experience working with me? Her testimonial is below.

~ Join a somatic movement class at doriesilverman.com/classes. Each class includes nervous system regulation so you’ll get the benefits of finding a sense of ease and calm in your body-home.

~The next Settle Your Sh*t - Introductory Online Workshop is in February. Stay tuned for the date

Carve out space to develop a connection to your nervous system this week.

With Love and Regulation
~Dorie

P.S. It’s not normal to feel anxiety, depression, and overwhelm just because everyone else does too. Let’s clear what’s bogging you down so you can enjoy your life and thrive. Let’s chat

The Second Step to Stress Relief

First, I’d like to extend my deepest gratitude for those of you who have been sticking it out with me during the pandemic. I am so incredibly grateful for your love and support. Thank you for coming to classes and reaching out and staying connected. It means so much to know we’re not alone during this time!!! So much love to you.

So…last week, we talked about the first step of stress relief which is feeling that you’re supported and safe (ie. regulation). Remember, this is a body experience, not just a thought in your head. You can learn these tools in the Somatic Movement classes or in private sessions with me. Once you feel support, notice the ways your body is telling you that you’re stressed. Where are those sensations in your body?

This week’s step (and it relates to Thanksgiving) is about what to do once you notice how you feel? Let’s say in this moment you feel sadness in your belly. Instead of trying to make it go away, you get to know it, cozy up next to it and connect to all of the ways it’s talking to you. By doing this, you can help whatever emotion you are feeling to pass through, instead of it getting lodged in your body tissue to carry around for years and years.

What’s fascinating about learning how to work with emotions is that we want all of them to come, feel them fully, and allow them to finish. Even the yummy ones, learn to cozy up with them. For some people this can feel even more challenging as we tend to gloss over the nice moments of life in search of the next thing to do, plan or worry about. I would say this skill of marinating in the good is even more valuable because when you marinate in what feels good for you, the easier it is to return to a feel good state. This is a big part of repatterining the nervous system AND I think feeling good more often is what we’re truly seeking. By the way, when I say good, I don’t mean mind blowing ecstasy, although that’s pretty awesome. I just mean, the easeful everyday enjoyment of being alive. Use your senses to take it all in.

So, this week, I know there’s a lot of mixed emotions. The holidays during a pandemic can bring up an incredible amount of sadness and loneliness if you’re not with your people. Grief is especially hard during the holidays. AND its a great opportunity to continue traditions, remember loving times and make new memories. My hope is that you’ll take it all in, the good, the bad and the ugly, from a place of being grounded and really feeling into it in your body home. May this practice bring up your natural gratitude for all that you get to experience in life. As weird as it is right now.

And I’m here to support you.
Come to class (info below)
and/or
Reply to this email for 1 on 1 private Somatic Experiencing sessions

Each somatic yoga movement class includes:

~nervous system regulation exercises (creates a feeling of safety and presece)
~tracking your own nervous system
~yoga poses and breathing
~alignment that is functional and can be used in all areas of your life
~deep rest

Carve out space to develop a connection to your nervous system this week and clear out what’s bogging you down.

Join us for Somatic Movement classes this week.

Monday 6-7 pm CST (YOGA)
Wednesday 9:30-10:30 am CST (BOWSPRING)
Friday 12-1 pm CST (YOGA)
Saturday 10-11:15 am CST (YOGA)

Register at www.doriesilverman.com/classes

Can’t make a live class?
All classes are now recorded. To receive a recording of a class, register for the class and then send me an email or text letting me know you’d like the recording link. It will be available for 24 hours.

Register at www.doriesilverman.com/classes
And check out the resources and testimonials below.

I'll see you on the mat!

With Love and Regulation

~Dorie

P.S. Are you looking for more individualized one-on-one support for anxiety, depression or overwhelm? Reply to this email to have a chat.

The referral of your friends and family is the greatest compliment you can give me. Thank you for your trust.

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