Feeling Stuck and How to Move Forward

This is for you if you've ever felt depressed, procrastinate on projects, or if you’ve felt stuck in a repeated pattern for a long time.

When I have been in a depressed place in my life, I felt totally stuck. There was a specific feeling in my body and mind that just wouldn't budge. And it didn't matter how much therapy I did or how much I tried different techniques, not a lot changed in my life. It used to feel like I was doggie paddling really hard just under the surface of the water and every once in a while I would get a teeny tiny gulp of air but then I would get sucked back down into that depression.

Sometimes, it feels like I want to do a ton of projects but something stops me. I know what I need to do but I just can't get myself to take action.

Some people say that when you're stuck you're in a state of marinating, getting ready for what's next. I can see that being true. However, when it comes to how our nervous systems operate, stuckness is an actual nerve that turns on in your system as a result of managing too much energy. This stress-energy may be about whatever is happening at the moment (a new job, project, fear of getting covid, loneliness, etc). However, for a lot of us, this is old stress energy that wasn't digested. So this new project that you're trying to do is activating the old stress energy. And your body doesn't know it’s old, it just knows, there's too much, it feels like a threat and shuts down.

When there's too much, Your nervous system will turn on a shut down (your Dorsal Vagal Nerve, or freeze), and it’s really hard to get motivated to do anything from this place. You've probably tried to get something done when you're feeling exhausted or sluggish or stuck. It’s like trying to walk through mud. AND the frustration with that inability to move forward can add fuel to the fire.

Let's throw some pandemic on top of this. Add stay-at-home orders and the possibility of getting covid more stress energy. Plus when we're on zoom, Facetime and screens so much, the posture, eye positioning, and lack of movement can turn on your fight/flight response.

You are alive which is a pulsing vibrating energy, so it can feel very frustrating to be stuck and when that frustration and stuckness gets to be too much, it can feel like you want to give up.

I just want to normalize this for you.

Your body is keeping you alive amidst a lot of stress.

So, thanks nervous system!

But these survival strategies aren't supporting you anymore. Being stuck is frustrating and its not helping you move forward in your life.

So what can we do about this?

We've been cultured out of the skills that move us towards a state of feeling whole, motivated, and in motion. These are the same skills that take us from a stuck place to a place of mobility. As you cultivate these somatic skills, you slowly begin to wire back into your body-brain the ability to fully digest stress and stay in motion in your life.

If you're resonating with this I invite you to :

1. Come to the next Settle Your Sh*t workshop Sunday, March 28th from 3-5 pm CST.

2. Sign up on the waitlist for the Settle Your Sh*t online group course where we'll rewire how to respond to stress.

3. Reply to this email to receive a 30 min consult on how to work together 1 on 1

4. Come to a Somatic movement class this week

Monday Somatic Yoga 6-7 pm CST
Wednesday Somatic Bowspring 9:30-10:30 am CST
Saturday Somatic Yoga 10-11:15 am CST

Recordings available

Please share this with anyone who needs extra support right now.

with LOVE and Regulation

Dorie

How to Digest Stuck Emotion - Lessons from the Elephant Ear Plant

Let me show you something that’s happening to my elephant ear plant.  Check out the dying leaves!!!

When I first saw the leaves getting brown and dying, I got really nervous.  I worried there was something wrong with the plant and she wouldn't make it.  I've had this elephant ear since last August and I’ve been amazed at how long it’s lasted after being outside all summer and then coming to live inside next to dry radiator heat all winter. 

Since receiving this plant, it has lost quite a few leaves.  Every single time a leaf  bends over gets brown and dies another leaf or baby is growing out of it.

What an amazing lesson!

In order to grow you have to let go of what’s not serving you.  What’s not serving you is gonna feel crappy it’s gonna feel like shit.  When you're releasing something not serving you, it feels like anger, frustration, sadness, old patterns may emerge, there might be weird random or chronic pain that comes back.  You may have strange dreams or images or memories or impulses.  It’s really really hard when those things come up not just because it feels bad.  But also because there’s another layer of judgment or shame about feeling bad. It may feel like you’re somehow moving backward.    It can feel like you're not on the path you thought you were on.  You may think, " I thought I was beyond this" and "who do I think I am" and "I've done so much work why is this still happening."  It's ingrained in us to judge and criticize what is hard and uncomfortable.  That’s how we learned to handle challenges. Our culture shows us that we should somehow always look good and feel good and be good and that’s just not real.  That’s not who we are as humans.  There is a shadow side, a dark side to all of us.  The more you can lean into the shadow when it’s happening and recognize that something is ending,  in a regulated and grounded way, it’s really amazing what happens.

When you don't lean into your shitty experiences what happens? 

They get stuck in your body home and can cause

1. Depression ( a literal pushing down of our anger and frustration)

2. Anxiety

3. High sensitivity

4. Migraines

5. Chronic Pain

6. Addictive behavior

7. Digestive Issues

8. Allergies

The next time you're feeling shitty, angry, annoyed, frustrated,  irritated, confused,  foggy, or whatever get curious about leaning into them and letting them have a moment to move through.  When you do that, you are digesting your emotions rather than letting them get stuck in your body at home and make you feel crazy.

Next time you’re feeling down and it feels like you’re moving backward, just remember there’s something growing underneath you might not see it you might not yet know it’s there.  Trust that growth is on the other side of it and lean into those challenges.

One very important caveat. If you have a lot of old stress-energy in your nervous system, leaning into the hard stuff may feel totally overwhelming especially if you’re working with grief or shame or old old emotions.  This is where we want to find more regulation and more of a sense of ease and comfort and build that into your system first with guidance and support.  This is what I do with clients one on one and in workshops.  If you need help with that definitely message me here.

The message for today is to lean into what’s happening even if it’s a little bit.

If you’re feeling resistance,  lean into the resistance

If you feel like you need a break, give yourself a little bit of a break

If you’re feeling irritated just let yourself be irritated and express it. 

Don’t try to change it or fix it so quickly by thinking about something positive or doing the opposite.

Explore what it would be like to lean in.