Feeling Stuck and How to Move Forward

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This is for you if you've ever felt depressed, procrastinate on projects, or if you’ve felt stuck in a repeated pattern for a long time.

When I have been in a depressed place in my life, I felt totally stuck. There was a specific feeling in my body and mind that just wouldn't budge. And it didn't matter how much therapy I did or how much I tried different techniques, not a lot changed in my life. It used to feel like I was doggie paddling really hard just under the surface of the water and every once in a while I would get a teeny tiny gulp of air but then I would get sucked back down into that depression.

Sometimes, it feels like I want to do a ton of projects but something stops me. I know what I need to do but I just can't get myself to take action.

Some people say that when you're stuck you're in a state of marinating, getting ready for what's next. I can see that being true. However, when it comes to how our nervous systems operate, stuckness is an actual nerve that turns on in your system as a result of managing too much energy. This stress-energy may be about whatever is happening at the moment (a new job, project, fear of getting covid, loneliness, etc). However, for a lot of us, this is old stress energy that wasn't digested. So this new project that you're trying to do is activating the old stress energy. And your body doesn't know it’s old, it just knows, there's too much, it feels like a threat and shuts down.

When there's too much, Your nervous system will turn on a shut down (your Dorsal Vagal Nerve, or freeze), and it’s really hard to get motivated to do anything from this place. You've probably tried to get something done when you're feeling exhausted or sluggish or stuck. It’s like trying to walk through mud. AND the frustration with that inability to move forward can add fuel to the fire.

Let's throw some pandemic on top of this. Add stay-at-home orders and the possibility of getting covid more stress energy. Plus when we're on zoom, Facetime and screens so much, the posture, eye positioning, and lack of movement can turn on your fight/flight response.

You are alive which is a pulsing vibrating energy, so it can feel very frustrating to be stuck and when that frustration and stuckness gets to be too much, it can feel like you want to give up.


I just want to normalize this for you.

Your body is keeping you alive amidst a lot of stress.

So, thanks nervous system!


But these survival strategies aren't supporting you anymore. Being stuck is frustrating and its not helping you move forward in your life.

So what can we do about this?

We've been cultured out of the skills that move us towards a state of feeling whole, motivated, and in motion. These are the same skills that take us from a stuck place to a place of mobility. As you cultivate these somatic skills, you slowly begin to wire back into your body-brain the ability to fully digest stress and stay in motion in your life.


If you're resonating with this I invite you to :

  1. Come to the next Settle Your Sh*t workshop Sunday, March 28th from 3-5 pm CST.

  2. Sign up on the waitlist for the Settle Your Sh*t online group course where we'll rewire how to respond to stress.

  3. Reply to this email to receive a 30 min consult on how to work together 1 on 1

  4. Come to a Somatic movement class this week


Monday Somatic Yoga 6-7 pm CST
Wednesday Somatic Bowspring 9:30-10:30 am CST
Saturday Somatic Yoga 10-11:15 am CST

Recordings available


Please share this with anyone who needs extra support right now.

with LOVE and Regulation

Dorie

The Fix it Approach to Trauma and Chronic Stress

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Have you ever felt pain, sadness, irritation, anger, (cue any yucky body feeling here), and all of the sudden all of your attention goes to fixing it?

Get it gone, out, good riddance.
How do you do that?

When I’m in fix-it mode, I try to fix my discomfort by overeating, reading a book about healing, calling a friend and complaining, thinking and ruminating about it until I am exhausted, making a game plan of how to fix it, exercising, going for body treatments, etc…

All of these strategies are helpful AND:

You find it gets more intense, maybe it sits idly in your body with constant annoying pain, irritation, or discomfort that you tolerate, maybe it hides under the darkness and one small thing can trigger an avalanche of emotion or pain.

And there you are, once again, doing more research to fix it.

This is the exact approach that’s been cultured into us. It is how we learned to handle sh*t. But it’s never handled, it just lingers there in your body home until it turns into migraines, autoimmune, chronic relationship problems, chronic pain, anxiety, depression, etc.

Until you actually digest and complete your stuck stress and trauma inside your physiology.

What completing stuck stress and trauma feels like:

  • frees up your vital energy

  • increases immunity

  • increases energy

  • decreases pain

  • knows when you’re settling or being taken advantage of

  • creates a sense of relaxation

  • a feeling of being awake

  • openness, confidence, creativity

  • experience a wider range of subtle emotions

This all begins with getting very curious about what is actually happening in your physiology, not the story or the meaning you’re making of it, but what is actually happening. This requires trust and a felt sense of safety (regulation). When you can learn to work with your body’s experiences, it is truly magical what your body can free up for you.

How?

Let’s go deeper into it.

Here are some options:

~ Reply to this email for a private complimentary 1-on-1 consult. Want to read about a client’s experience working with me? Her testimonial is below.

~ Join a somatic movement class at doriesilverman.com/classes. Each class includes nervous system regulation so you’ll get the benefits of finding a sense of ease and calm in your body-home.

~The next Settle Your Sh*t - Introductory Online Workshop is in February. Stay tuned for the date

Carve out space to develop a connection to your nervous system this week.

With Love and Regulation
~Dorie

P.S. It’s not normal to feel anxiety, depression, and overwhelm just because everyone else does too. Let’s clear what’s bogging you down so you can enjoy your life and thrive. Let’s chat